Marriage Monday

I received an email today from a blogger who I subscribe to, and each Monday the email is about marriage. Today's 'Marriage Monday' email was titled this: "Your spouse isn't the person you married." That kind of title catches your attention right away, doesn't it? Here is an excerpt from the book this blog was referring to:

"The person lying beside you in bed night after night, year after year, is not the same individual who stood with you at the altar on your wedding day. Everyone changes. Everyone's worldview evolves because we are thinking, emotional creatures. It's naive and foolish to believe that the views, opinions, and values held by you or the person you married were cast in concrete on your wedding day."

This is definetly something to stew over, and after thinking about it for awhile, I'd have to agree. I haven't been married for years and years, and gone through all of life's ups and downs, but I've been married long enough to know that I'm probably not the exact same person that stood in front of Jeff 4 years ago. I believe that each and every year we are married, we experience different events and emotions that bind to our ever-changing character. Of course, I haven't totally changed, but I bet that if you asked Jeff, he would tell you that I'm not the same girl who stood before him on our wedding day. Life changes you. I hope it has changed me for the better and will continue to do so, but there may be changes that he doesn't care for too. That's a part of learning to live as one with the marriage partner you chose. We were young. We were in love. And when you're young and in love, the world is full of endless possibilities. The eyes and hearts of dreamers, right? Time will inevitably change everyone, and I think we all do our best to stay true to ourselves. But maybe, just maybe, as time lapses by, we recognize new and changed things about ourselves. Ways that we've progressed, and ways that we've regressed.

The blog email goes on to say that in our marriages, we must weekly take the time to ask these two important questions:

1. What are you most worried about right now?
2. Is there any way I can help you with that concern?

I know Jeff and I don't ask these questions weekly, probably not even monthly. That's why I felt compelled to write this blog today. So if anyone else is out there wondering why the person they married seems a bit different today, maybe they can see that they're not alone, and that change isn't always such a bad thing. Marriage wouldn't last if we didn't flow with the changes.

"A wise spouse understands the critical importance of creating a scheduled and protected space on the calendar for the sole agenda of allowing the other person an opporunity to put into words what is currently incubating in the heart and mind."

The holidays are upon us!

It's been a busy last few days! Thursday was Thanksgiving and we went to the Miedema's for the big meal. It was a nice dinner, and then we sat around and talked for a few hours. Later we went over to my Mom and Dad's and had some dessert. Unfortunately, Caleb didn't get a nap in that day, and was tired and cranky by 7:00 pm. He held up pretty well though, considering all the activity and people. We are blessed beyond belief to have our health, family, shelter, and food thoughout another year.

Friday morning I went out shopping with my mom. Now, we aren't those die-hard Black Friday shoppers who stand in line for hours, in sub-zero temperatures, hoping to trample everyone and get our hands on a t.v. or something. Our style is much more relaxed. Breakfast first (of course!), then out to see what sort of sales are going on. We didn't even have anything specific in mind this year to buy, and that's probably a good thing because we don't have the drive to get out and fight the crowds. I mean, who wants to wake up early after a full day of eating and sitting around? Actually, we really didn't find much, but the time we spent together was fun, and it's a great time to catch up and just enjoy eachother. Love you mom! I then had a fun girl's night at Steph's house. (Oh yeah- thanks for watching Caleb most of the day Jeff.)

Saturday I put up Christmas decorations around the house. It got a little stressful in the morning with Caleb. When Jeff is home on the weekends he acts up alot, it seems. Or maybe it's just that he likes Jeff more than me. Either way, he's attached to Jeff and wants nothing to do with me. It gets a little frustrating, but luckily he took a long nap and I was able to de-stress. Jeff went out and pushed deer with his male family members, and ended up shooting a doe. We went out for a quick dinner and that was our Saturday!

Finally, today, we ended the weekend by cutting down our Christmas tree. It was a perfect day, and we had no trouble finding the right tree. Caleb didn't really care about the tree selecting, but enjoyed following the chickens that lived on the farm around. He even got to pick an egg out of their boxes! Maybe we should consider getting some chickens or small farm animals. I think he would love it. Chickens stink though....

So, the end of the busy weekend is upon us. I made some brownies, and I think I'll go eat them. It's the perfect ending to a busy, but fun weekend. I live such a blessed life. Sometimes it amazes me just how lucky I am.

"So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done."

The Joys of Mothering

On Friday I had Caleb's 18 month pictures taken, and of course, they are adorable. When I got home I compared the current pictures to those of the ones of him at 3 or 6 months. It's so unbelieveable to see how much he has changed in a year! This time last year he was just learning to sit up on his own, and now he's his own little person flying around the house. I'm so excited for the upcoming holidays to see his reactions and create memories with him. Is there anything better than getting to see Christmas through the eyes of a little child?

The right word to use for being a mother to my Caleb, is Joy. There is no other way to simplify what I feel when I look at him. Granted, there are times when I'm not joyful. Overall, though, those unjoyful moments are quickly out numbered by the joyful ones. The past few nights as I've put Caleb to bed, I take a quick moment to rock him in my arms. Before I know it, he'll be too tall and too embarrased of his mom. So, I'm savoring that little joy for all it's worth.

Enough of my sappiness though. I think joy is hard to find in this world, so to be able to find it in the eyes of my little boy, is definetly heaven sent.

"Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy."

Drives me nuts

There are a few things that drive me nuts in this world. I thought I would share a few of them with you today. I'm writing about this because lately I've felt that my nutso sensor has been tapped in to quite a bit. Of course, these things are all in good fun. Right? Let's begin.....

1. People driving too slow, or riding so close behind me I can't see their front bumper. Or parking so close to my car that I have to instantly lose 20 pounds to get in my door. This annoys almost everyone, right?

2. Use of imaginary words, or improper grammar. Now, I'm no English teacher, so I probably am guilty now and then of this mistake. But, nevertheless, it still drives me nuts.

3. When you tell someone you're not interested in what they have to sell, and they repeatedly keep calling you. Up to 5 times a day. What do I need to say to get my point across?!

4. The long, whining noise that Caleb seems to enjoy making.

5. Mice that live in our house walls, scratching their way around while I watch TV.

6. Losing power at least once a month.

7. Feeling like I must conform to a 'way of life' that I just can't seem to wrap my head around.

8. How much dust and dog hair accumulate in my house within a matter of hours. ( I know, the dog hair is my fault since I have a dog.)

9. The frustration of Caleb deciding not to eat more than a few bites of food all day long. It's my motherly duty to make sure he eats and grows!

10. My wish that life was more simple, and privacy more respected.

So, now that I've shared my Top 10 Things that Drive Me Nuts lately, what's on your list?

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy; am I or are the others crazy?"

Little Personality

I haven't written in a while, simply because I don't have a very exciting life and there isn't always something to write about everyday! I figured I better write at least once a week, even if nothing significant happened. So, I thought I'd take a quick moment and just say that it's amazing how such a little person can have their very own personality.

Maybe it's just the toddler years, or maybe it is his true personality, but either way, it's interesting to say the least. First, I'll just say that Caleb has a gentle, sweet personality. I do think he got that from Jeff, but then ocassionally, I see a little bit of me pop out of him. He is stubborn, and wants things the way he wants them. If you move his truck to one spot, he will mostly likely grab it and put it back exactly where it was before. I have to say, I like things in their place, so he may have inherited that trait from me. But to say that he is a clone of Jeff and I is a lie. He's so little right now that it's easy to impress our ways upon him, but I already know that as the years pass, and he gets older, his personality will develop independent of us or anyone else. Caleb is attached to his Daddy's leg when Jeff is home, and he's attached to my leg every other time. This can be annoying, or it can make you feel like the most important person in the room. I just keep trying to remember that he changes so fast, so I better enjoy that little personality for what it is right now.

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today."