Merry Christmas!

It's the day after Christmas, and that means all the holiday hoopala is over. We have partied to our max, and today is a day to relax, clean, and find a place for the bajillion new toys we got. I always feel a mixture of sadness and relief when Christmas is done. It was another great year though. We were blessed to celebrate Luke's first Christmas, and share another year with our families.

This was a special year not just because Luke joined our family, but also because it was my Mom's 60th birthday Christmas day. We tried to make it a very special day for her, and I hope it was. As hard it probably is for her to turn 60, it's also sort of strange for me to realize she is 60. Where have all the years gone? Anyways, we all know how fast time flies. I'm just happy we are all here to celebrate another year.

Here's to best wishes, health, and happiness in the New Year.

Love,

Jeff, Katie, Caleb & Luke

Isn't that the truth?

I have a couple quick quotes I want to share. They are somewhat unrelated, but both got me thinking. Good reminders.

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for differenct ways or truer answers. ” ~M. Scott Peck

This quote applies to so many situations. If you really think about it, it seems that true change and reform does happen when decide to re-evaluate our lives. Whether it be job loss, job change, relationship difficulties, or just stress, we seem to search out ways to improve or change our situation.


"Remember one is given strength to bear what happens to one, but not the 100 and 1 different things that might happen. And don’t say God has proved that he can make you fear poverty, illness, etc. I am sure God never teaches the fear of anything but himself.” ~ CS Lewis


I need to read this at least once a week. I don't know why I worry so much, but I do. And there are a thousand and one differnt things a person can worry about, but we should be living in this moment and not thinking about what might happen.

These are my deep thoughts for the week. Goodbye.

A season of blessings

Today is one of those days that I feel blessed. I should feel it everyday, and far too often I overlook the things that are most important in life. Health, family, friends, relationships. As Thanksgiving came and went this year, I am once again reminded of all that I need to give thanks for. This was a special year, as our little Luke was born. How blessed we are that he is healthy and growing. Same for Caleb. My dear friend, Jen, took some quick family photos of us after Thanksgiving. I wanted an updated photo for our Christmas cards. I obviously know we're a family of 4, but sometimes just seeing it still amazes me. It also proves to me that time is moving so fast.

I hope you'll take a second to count your blessings today and throughout this holiday season.

"Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

It's all about John Deere

Caleb is obsessed. Obsessed with tractors. I made the huge mistake of getting a John Deere tractor movie at the library, and now he wants to watch it 5 times a day. All he does is play with tractors, and talk about wheels falling off, and chisel plowing, and planting seeds, and combining corn. He really does say all of these things probably 25 times throughout the day. He wakes up thinking about tractors and goes to bed thinking about tractors. What have we done?! Is this obsession going to pass? Or will he forever be in love with all things tractor? He may not know letters or colors when he goes to school, but he'll definetly know how to fix your tractor or plant seeds. Just ask. He'll be happy to tell you about it. Or don't ask. He'll tell you anyways.


With regards to his obsession, I got this quote yesterday. It's pretty fitting. I won't discourage his interest. It will probably change at some point, but the quote serves as a good reminder to me. I can't change the person he is, but I can encourage and respect him; no matter if I wish he was more interested in real life applications. :)

"Far too often we spend most of our time pulling weeds in the garden of our children’s lives instead of fertilizing the flowers.”

Sleep. Please.

Life has been pretty busy lately. I've been working on a lot of hats, and tending to my crazy toddler and little baby boy. Well, I would just like to send out a plea to the sleep fairy, wherever you are..... PLEASE COME TO MY HOUSE ASAP!

This is how sleep is occuring at our house right now.

1. Jeff- Sleeps like a baby. Period. Always has. Always will. Ugh...I can't even describe how jealous this makes me.

2. Katie- Sleep occurs in 4 hour intervals, at best. Even this sleep is interrupted by my crazy brain which can hear things through my sleep and wake me with the snore or tiny peep of anything in the house. Let's not even get started about how I am at 6:00 a.m.

3. Caleb- Going to sleep is the most dramatic, heartbreaking, tantrum-throwing time in his life. It is like the end of days.

4. Luke- Enjoys sleeping for 4 hour intervals every night. For the last 10, almost 11 weeks of his life.

5. Remmy- Do I even need to add him? He sleeps like a dog. Don't we all wish for this?


I know, you are thinking, "Well Katie, that's how life is with small children and a husband who snores."

I know this, but it is really starting to get to me. Please, please, please sleep fairy...come to our house and relieve us (ME)!


"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one."

Proud of poop

Yes, I am proud of poop. Gross, weird, and demented; perhaps. We might be entering a new phase here in the Miedema household. Caleb has decided that he will use the potty (with my prompting) and actually go in it! It's like a miracle has occurred! It seems like a miracle to me at least, because he has had so many issues with poop.

I never thought I would say poop so many times a day. Or rejoice at the consistency or frequency of a bowel movement. Or be so worried about a bodily function that I start fearing there is a serious problem with my child. Nobody ever told me that raising children involves a great understanding and appreciation for poop.

I would just like to say these 3 things:

Thank you to my mom and dad for changing my diapers and potty training me. And cleaning up my puke. (Specifically you, mom!)

I am not weird or gross or demented.

I like when my oldest child poops.

That is all.

"WOW!!! LOOK AT THAT POOPY!!!"
~A direct quotes from yours truly~

Brothers

I do know a thing or two about having brothers. But, I'm not a boy, so I think the relationship between brothers is probably quite different then it is between a brother and sister. It's fun to see Caleb warming up to his little brother, and I'm sure as Luke gets older he will look up to his big brother. I snapped a few pictures of the boys together, and I just want to say...I have the cutest boys in the world! :)

A good reminder for moms

1st Corinthians 13 is known as the Love Chapter in the Bible. I love this version of 1st Corinthians 13 adapted for moms.



I can read bedtime stories till the cow jumps over the moon and sing “Ten Little Monkeys” until I want to call the doctor–but if I don’t have love, I’m as annoying as a ringing phone.

I can chase a naked toddler through the house while cooking dinner and listening to voice mail, I can fix the best cookies and Kool-Aid in the neighborhood, and I can tell a sick child’s temperature with one touch of my finger, but if I don’t have love, I am nothing.

Love is patient while watching and praying by the front window when it’s 30 minutes past curfew.

Love is kind when my teen says, “I hate you!”

It does not envy the neighbors’ swimming pool or their brand-new mini van, but trusts the Lord to provide every need.

Love does not brag when other parents share their disappointments and insecurities, and love rejoices when other families succeed.

It doesn’t boast, even when I’ve multi-tasked all day long and my husband can’t do more than one thing at a time.

Love is not rude when my spouse innocently asks, “What have you done today?”

It does not immediately seek after glory when we see talent in our children, but encourages them to get training and make wise choices.

It is not easily angered, even when my 15-year-old acts like the world revolves around her.

It does not delight in evil (is not self-righteous) when I remind my 17-year-old that he’s going 83 in a 55-mph zone, but rejoices in the truth.

Love does not give up hope.

It always protects our children’s self-esteem and spirit, even while doling out discipline.

It always trusts God to protect our children when we cannot. It always perseveres, through blue nail polish, burps and other bodily functions, rolled eyes and crossed arms, messy rooms and sleep overs.

Love never fails.

But where there are memories of thousands of diaper changes and painful labor(s), they will fade away.

Where there is talking back, it will (eventually) cease. (Please, Lord?)

Where there is a teenager who thinks she knows everything, there will one day be an adult who knows you did your best.

For we know we fail our children, and we pray they don’t end up in therapy, but when we get to heaven, our imperfect parenting will disappear. (Thank you, God!)

When we were children, we needed a parent to love and protect us. Now that
we’re parents ourselves, we have a heavenly Father who adores, shelters us and holds us when we need to cry.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love But the greatest of these is love.

~Author unknown

One of those days

We all have them. You know. One of those days. The kind where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed (in my case after lacking a full night's sleep for going on 6 weeks), and the world and everyone in it is bad. You just feel ornery, emotional, grumpy, or ungrateful. Well, yesterday I pretty much felt all of those things. My lack of sleep, seemingly constant days filled with crying/whining, feeding children, changing poopy diapers, and looking at my flabby stomach caught up to me. Good thing no one really saw me yesterday...except for my dear husband, who sometimes must take the brunt of my moods. Ok, he is a little to blame. It just isn't fair that he gets to enjoy his hobby (hunting) while I tend to my never-ending job! But, after a decent night's sleep and a sunny day, I feel better.

Last night before I drifted off to sleep for a few hours, I decided to look back in a book Jeff gave me for my birthday. I have referred to it in past posts, and probably will again, but when I read the book I folded over specific pages that spoke directly to me. I thought maybe reading through a few of those folded-over pages would help clear my head. That it did.
Two things struck me particularly last night:

1. Love is much easier to give and receive when we don't let it get too messy. So often we (uhhh...I) overanalyze our kids', husband's and our own behaviors. We mothers make everything personal. We have expectations for our kids' behaviors, our husband's behaviors, and ourselves. When they all fall short, rather than stepping back, we get angry. I really need to work on letting go of those expectations. Even if you don't realize you have them, it's a good idea to step back and realize that expectations and love don't go together very well.

2. Focus on the big stuff and let the small stuff go. Wow, I really need to work on that sometimes! We create barriers for ourselves if we constantly allow ourselves to critize our spouse and kids. Complaining does no good...although it might make me feel a little better at the time. Dismissing character flaws, attitudes, and temper tantrums, and focusing on the good will help us appreciate loved ones even more.

This is all nice and good, and something to aspire too. Yet, it's very difficult when you're caught up in day to day life. Most nights I say a little prayer, asking God for patience, kindness, and courage. I think I need those things the most these days.

"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed."

Celebrating 5 years of Marriage

This......

Plus this....

Equals this.

This....

Plus this....

Equals this.

And this.

Happy Anniverary, Jeff.

I love you more than the day we got married. Amazing how 5 years of marriage has changed our lives.

Life with 2 kids

My posts seem to be few and far between now, but I do have good reason for that. Mostly it's because I have no time, but also because I could be doing better things (like taking a nap) than writing on the computer. Life with a two year old and a newborn is busy, to say the least. Trying to manage my time well is a challenge, while still trying to have fun with Caleb and keep up with Luke's feeding/changing schedule. I guess I knew this was coming, but like all other things in motherhood, you don't really understand until it happens to you.

Caleb has been a handful lately, and is definetly in to the terrible two stage. There isn't a day that goes by where he doesn't have some sort of crying/screaming fit. I'm trying my best to ignore and move on, but sometimes it's really trying on the patience. Luke is still a good baby, but has realized he wants to be held as much as possible. So, imagine this:

I have Luke in one arm, a burp rag and bottle being held onto with two fingers, Caleb handing me cars to play with while simultaneously asking for juice. No wait...milk. No wait..NO! YES! NO JUICE! NO MILK! TRACTOR PULLS! Commense the crying newborn in the crook of my left arm. Bottle dropping on the floor, Remmy running over to lick said bottle, Caleb falling on the ground in a fit of sadness over juice and milk choices, and let's just top it off with some poopy pants from Luke.

Yes. This is my life right now. I will listen to all of your advice that it will be over before I know it. But right now, I know it.

Somehow, I still feel lucky most days. Who wouldn't wish for this life?

Small Blessings

"Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day
With little time to stop and pray
For life's been anything but calm
Since You called on me to be a mom
Running errands, matching socks
Building dreams with building blocks
Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes
And other stuff that children lose
Gitting lids on bottled bugs
Wiping tears and giving hugs
A stack of last week's mail to read
So where's the quiet time I need?
Yet when I steal a minute, Lord
Just at the sink or ironing board
To ask the blessings of Your grace
I see then, in my small one's face
That you have blessed me
All the while
And I stop to kiss
That precious smile."

A moment in time

I have a few extra mintues this morning, and this is probably the best time of day for me to write since I'm dead tired by about 3:00 in the afternoon these days. Anyways, I just wanted to share a couple pictures, and talk about what a challenging and special time in our life this is. Luke is a wonderful baby, and Caleb is adjusting pretty well I think. But, it's still a lot of work, and alot of responsibility. Two little lives are dependent on Jeff and I. It's a bit of a daunting thought...but maybe it's not. It popped in to my head yesterday as I sat outside with Caleb, that there are only a few more years left where my boys will be home with me all day, everyday. I can't wish away these moments, because they are so fleeting. Luke will only be this tiny package for a few more months, and Caleb is already growing in to such a big boy. Becoming a parent really puts your life and the life of others in to perspective.

Below are a couple shots of Caleb and Luke. I love my boys!

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and million ways to be a good one."

Welcome to the world Luke Hans

Luke Hans Miedema made his grand entrance Friday, August 26th at 7:42 a.m. I had a scheduled c-section, and everything went well. What a joy he is, and such a little bundle. You forget how tiny newborns are, and everything about him is such a miracle. So far, he is a very content, sleepy boy, which has been nice for Jeff and I. Caleb is slowly adjusting, and we're all getting along quite well. I'm surprised, actually, how well things are going. I know it could all change in a moment, but right now I'm feeling completely blessed and fortunate to have two healthy boys. I know how fast this time will go, so I'm trying to savor the little moments with our new Luke.

"Babies are such a nice way to start people."

A True Miracle

I wanted to share this picture before that big belly of mine is gone. With our baby due to makes his arrival in about 5 days, I'm feeling large and uncomfortable, but also a little nostalgic about losing this feeling. It's hard, yet amazing to know there is a baby that has been growing inside of me for 9 months. When you really sit and think about it, there are not many things in this world that you can call a miracle. But, being pregnant and watching your own body change for the body of someone else is what I'd consider a miracle. To think that another human's heart beats inside of the body where my own heart beats is astonishing!

I'm cherishing these last few days of pregnancy with relief and sadness. Ready for my body to come back to me, but well aware of the miracle of pregnancy.

"To be pregnant is to be vitally alive, thoroughly woman, and undoubtedly inhabited."

Quickie quote

Just a little something to think about today.

“…be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble…no sharp-toungued sarcasm. Instead, bless — that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing.”

~1 Peter 3:8-9



11 days and counting!!

Countdown...18 days

I've started my countdown to baby number 2! He will be here is 18 days (Or less if he so chooses!). I'm feeling excited, nervous, anxious, and calm all at the same time. That's alot of feelings to experience, but they change from day to day, or hour to hour. I think I'm a little more prepared since I've gone through it once, but then again, maybe I forgot. Or maybe this baby will be totally different than Caleb.

What I'm more nervous about than actually having the baby, is how our life and Caleb's life will change. I am praying that our little Caleb will accept his little brother gently and openly. I know I will feel sadness that Caleb is no longer the center of my universe, but life is always changing. There's nothing I can do to stop it. Time goes by so quickly, and change is replaced by the normal.

I can't wait to meet this new little one!

"Children reinvent your world for you."

The little things that make me proud

This morning Caleb was re-evaluated by a speech therapist. He started speech therapy in January when he was only really saying 5-10 words. In these past 6 months, he has gained leaps and bounds, and today he was deemed up to par for his age, and ready to be done with therapy. Wow! Needless to say, I am proud and excited that he has made such great accomplishments. It's kind of like his first "graduation"!

When he started speech therapy, I was concerned and doing everything I could to give him the best opportunity to catch up. If you know me at all, I was of course invisioning all worst case scenarios for the situation. Around the time we began, Caleb also had tubes put in his ears. We'll never know if that improved his hearing so that he was better able to understand and copy words, or if the help he received through Ken-O-Sha was what made the difference. Or maybe he just felt like delaying the talking until he was ready. Whatever it was, he is becoming a great communicator (at times a very demanding communicator!), and blossoming in his own way.

Not to belittle the help of his teachers, but I always felt that he was ok. They kept saying he was unsocial, not receptive to certain things, and unable to meet certain requirements for his age. Personally, as his mom, it was a struggle to hear that. The Caleb I see day to day is a happy, content, and somewhat reserved little boy. Doesn't personality or upbringing have anything to do with these learning milestones? I think so. But the experts don't agree. Whatever the reasoning, my little Caleb proved he is growing and developing right on track. He just knows it's ok to take things slow.... :)

"You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again."

Heartache and happiness

It's a double edged sword, those two words, right? That's what I felt yesterday for two very dear friends. One of my friends gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and the other lost her beautiful unborn baby. It's extra challenging because I not only know what it feels like to become a parent, but I'm carrying an unborn baby myself. The joy of becoming a mother and experiencing a whole new world begins when you give birth for the first time. You finally see that little being that's been wiggling around inside of you for 9 months, and your life is isntantly and forever changed.

On the flip side of the coin, (and I can not speak from experience on losing a baby)I can only imagine the hurt and sadness that comes along with never getting the chance to meet that baby. Such broad spectrums of emotion, yet they are tied in together very closely.

Isn't it hard to understand the miracles of life? I think so. I leave you with a few different quotes that bring meaning to me, and maybe to you.


"If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle."


"I believe the moment of birth
Is when we have knowledge of death
I believe the season of birth
Is the season of sacrifice."

Big boy bed

Happy belated 4th of July everyone! We had a great time camping in Holland again this year, and the weather was perfect. It was more fun this year since Caleb was mobile and able to do more things. Me, on the other hand...I'm getting a little too pregnant for too much activity. But, it was still a great vacation and fun time with family. Caleb loves the beach too!

I decided to transition Caleb out of his crib and in to his little car bed yesterday. I've been talking about it to him for awhile, and wanted to see if he could handle it before the new baby comes. Naptime was a challenge, but I perservered and stuck to my guns. He finally fell asleep after many times of getting out. He went to bed last night without a problem and didn't even get out this morning until I went up! I'm quite surprised with how well he's doing. As always, I shed a few tears as I looked at his crib and remembered him as a tiny baby in there. It's another milestone in his life and mine. I'm excited though to use that crib again very soon. :)


"Life isn't a matter of milestones but of moments."

Sweet vs. Naughty

It's my bedtime, but I just had to write something down while it's fresh in my thoughts.

Recently, Caleb has been some what of a naughty boy. He has begun to not listen, and throw a fit when things don't go his way. Tonight at dinner we had one of these epidsodes, and as Jeff and I sat at the table eating dinner, listening to Caleb's screaming and crying, we didn't have much to say to eachother. It's pretty hard to talk over that noise, let alone try to ignore it. Not knowing how to discipline Caleb is tough. Do we spank him? Do we try to use the time out system? It's stressful, and very trying on the patience to deal with a tantrum throwing toddler. I decided to go the route of ignoring, and proceeded to give Caleb a bath, put his PJ's on, and put him to bed all while he was crying and whining. I didn't really say anything to him because that only escalates things. I told him I loved him when I layed him in bed, and left the room, knowing I made it through another test.

Just a few mintues ago I went upstairs to check on him before I head to bed, as I do everynight, and it just struck me that he's still so little. And innocent. And temper tantrums will soon be the very least of my worries. He was sleeping soundly, clutching his little stuffed puppy, and I just want to freeze him like that forever. Forget the fact that I can lose my mind dealing with his moods and needs everyday. The fact that I have the blessing to watch my beautiful son grow up is more than enough to sweep away the hard times.

"Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it."

Happy Father's Day

Another Father's Day has come and gone, and I just want to take moment to thank and admire my own Dad, and the Dad of my children. You have no idea the influence and vital part you play in the lives of your children! Well, maybe you have some idea, but words can never express the love a child has for their father.

I'm so grateful to have you, Dad. There isn't any person I could ever imagine who would do as good of a job as you have. Here's a short poem for you:

"A little girl needs her daddy
To love her with manly charm,
To soothe her when she's hurt,
And keep her safe from harm.

A girl needs her dad
To show her a man who's good,
To help her make right choices,
As only a father could.

A woman needs her father
Just to be aware,
He'll always be there for her
To sustain her and to care.

You've been all these things, Dad.
I hope that you can see
How much I treasure you;
You mean everything to me."

To my Jeff, I'm proud to call you my husband, the father of my children. You are a wonderful Dad, and I can't wait to see how your journey of fatherhood grows in the years to come. I love you!

Check out these pictures from one of my favorite sites. Photos to honor all Dads.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/photography/

"To her the name of father was another name for love."

Adult life

It's been awhile since I've written, but things have been a steady, kind of boring busy around here. Jeff is in full swing at the farm, leaving me for a widow most days of the week. It's ok though. I appreciate all he does to bring home the bacon for us! The weather has been on and off nice, just as it always is in Michigan, and Caleb is growing and changing like a weed. Oh yeah...I'm growing like..like..an elephant. Or something large like that. My sleep is very disturbed, and I realize this is just in preparation for the many times I'll be awake at night in a few months. I feel unprepared in some ways for this new baby, but in other ways, I'm hoping my perspective on the newborn/baby stage is different this time. Maybe I'll be able to look at sleepless nights and constant feedings and diaper changes as a fleeting moment. Or maybe not. Only time will tell!

Jeff and I have been contemplating a piece of property for a future home as well. It just seems like life is all about adult choices now. I know we are fortunate to have choices in our life, but man, they are hard for me. There are so many unknowns, and that makes it hard to keep a clear mind. I'm not a very good risk taker, so making choices is that much harder for me.

I suppose life is all about choices and risks. Maybe the older you get, the more clear those become. Maybe I should start doing yoga. Or meditation.

"Being an adult simply means that we now know what we should be doing and we move ahead without supervision and do it, even when we really may not feel much like doing it at the time. And so it is and should be in all aspects and areas of our life."

Memorial Day

I came across some touching photos on The Pioneer Woman's blog today. They are in rememberance of all of those who are and have served our country throughout the years. I often forget what significance this day really has, but after looking at these pictures, I'm reminded what great sacrifices have been made for my freedom.

Take the time to think about a veteran or anyone serving today. And check out these precious photos.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/confessions/

"And they who for their country die shall fill an honored grave, for glory lights the soldier's tomb, and beauty weeps the brave."

My baby is 2!

Caleb celebrated his 2nd birthday yesterday! I can't believe he's two already. We had a fun fire truck themed party with cupcakes and ice cream, and lots of presents. Caleb was completely overwhelmed and opened one present then proceeded to cry, so I just opened the rest. He is very happy with everything though, and loves playing with his new toys.

I just want to take a moment to thank all of my family for your support and love over the past two year of Caleb's life. You've been such a tremendous help, and offered guidance and reassurance whenever necessary! I'm excited to see what the next few years in Caleb's life (and our own) will bring.

"A Two-year-old child is so many things --
A tiny discoverer of butterfly wings,
A hugger of Teddies,
A sweet sleepyhead,
And someone to dream for in bright years ahead..."

*Sigh....*

I just feel like 'sighing' today...wait, is that even a word? Anyhow, maybe it's the pregnancy hormones or maybe it's just me becoming a sappy mother, but sometimes you just have to sigh. Deep breaths, right?

I took Caleb for his 2 year pictures today, and initially he was shy and uncooperative. But, the moods of a two year old change in an instant, and he was soon hamming it up for the camera. I left the studio with some precious pictures. He is looking more and more like a little boy, and not a baby anymore. In one of the photo poses, he was leaning against a chair with a sly smile on his face, and all of a sudden I had this flash-forward of this same pose in his senior pictures! Of course, I can't predict what he'll look like in 16 years, (or what I'll look like for that matter...it might not be pretty!) but his personality is just growing and growing everyday.

Caleb will be two years old on Sunday, and if I really sit and think about it, I don't know why or how those years went so fast. So much change and growth has happened, and it's exciting and scary to think about adding another child, and losing my special time with Caleb. On the other hand, I got to enjoy two years of uninterrupted Caleb time, which the next baby will not have.

So, I'm just going to sigh and take deep breaths throughout this coming weekend. Don't say anything to me about him growing up at his party, or else I might just shed a few tears. I blame it on hormones. And you, Mom.

"We've had bad luck with children. They all grow up."

You are who you are

I know there's some controversy about making changes in your life or just throwing it to the wind and letting your true colors show. I've been contemplating this lately, and I think I might just be one of those people that can't change in to something I'm not. There's a line between making changes in yourself or your surroundings out of necessity, and just changing to be what other people think you should be. In the marriage relationship, we're going to have to change a little to accomodate the needs of our partner. But, as an individual, why should we change ourselves to be a mold of where/what we're doing in our life? I think every individual has the right to think what they want to think, and be who they want to be. I might not always approve of that, but it's just the plain and simple truth that everyone has a differnt personality. It can be hard to respect someone else that is very different from you, but that is what I want to work on.

I think I'm a pretty strong woman, and I may just have a few control issues...maybe. ;) But, I'm quite confident in who I am, what I believe in, and how I run my life. Strong willed I've always been, and always will be. The same goes for Caleb. He is who he is, and I can try to shape him, but he'll ultimately be his own person. Right now, I like who he is....my sweet, innocent, almost two year old! (Just can't help attaching this photo of him at Tulip Time!)

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

A good read

I often check one of my favorite websites daily; The Pioneer Woman.com. She posts new blogs or updates every few days on topics including her life on a ranch, photography, cooking, home and garden, and homeschooling. She is a homeschooling mother of 4, and although I'm quite sure I would never homeschool, some of the articles written are otherwise convincing. A new article posted today I find particularly interesting. It's about using the word TEACH as an acronym. Training, encouraging, assisting, creating, and honoring your children.

As I've been going through speech therapy with Caleb, I've found myself questioning 'the experts' sometimes. Are these standards we place on our children true and necessary? Or is every child different and unique? I understand there are "milestones" kids should be around at certain ages, but to me, I only get stressed out when I think about my child not hitting every single step in the correct time period. Here's a couple paragraphs from the blog;

"I cannot make my children learn when they are not yet ready to learn, but I can certainly assist them as they move along the path. Please understand I am not promoting laziness, but just because my children’s time-table doesn’t always match up with mine, or any national standard for that matter, does NOT mean they are being lazy. Sometimes it simply means they aren’t ready.

The amazing lesson I learned along the way is that when they are ready, if I have trained them (provided instruction), encouraged them (inspired courage and confidence), and am available to assist them (give support or aid), the day will come when they will leap over whatever hurdle that has held them up to date."

Sometimes as a parent, we're bombarded with so much information that we become impatient and worried about so many things. I know patience is not my strong suit, but in the case of children, and in particular, my Caleb, it's essential. Maybe if you have a few mintues you can read the whole article for yourself. Let me know what you think. Here's the link:

http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeschooling/

"Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves."

Who knew?

Who knew it was so hard to be 2 years old? Oh, the drama. Oh, the heartbreak. Oh, the sadness when you have to do things you don't want to do. These days, I seem to be a terribly mean, awful mom. I mean, making my little boy hold my hand while we cross a parking lot? Oh, the thought! Giving him grapes instead of chips? Oh my! Sometimes I have a hard time not finding it humorous. I must admit though, I have a feeling that this whole next year will be filled with drama, screaming, and resistance. I mean, his independence has only just begun, right?

Who knew you didn't have to brush your teeth or eat your vegetables? Who knew that you could use a spoon without help, or not put your toys away when asked? The solution to all of these independence issues seems to be crying, screaming, and perhaps falling on the floor in a stiff lump of little boy.

These are trying times. For me, and for Caleb. I'm well aware this is only the beginning of my control fading away, and independent thinking taking over. I'm glad I'll have control of another life soon....at least for a couple years. :)

"The fundamental job of a toddler is to rule the universe."

Happy Mothering

Jeff got me two books for my birthday this year. One, was a biography of sorts by a favorite blogger of mine, The Pioneer Woman. The book, titled, 'Black Heels and Tractor Wheels' was a great read, and I found it to be comparable on some levels to my own life. I definetly recommend it if you're looking for truth, love, and laughter.

The other book he got me is titled, 'The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers'. This book is written by a pediatrician, who actually lives in northern Michigan. I've only read the first few chapters, but there were a couple profound things I read that I felt like sharing.

Lately, I've struggled a bit with figuring out if there is supposed to be more to my life than the title and role of mother. Sometimes I feel like I have lost a part of who I was, and am amazed at how mothering is an all-encompassing lifestyle. So, I thought this book would maybe bring some insight in to my life, as mothering is and will be my main role througout the rest of my life.

Here are a couple paragraphs that hit me hard:

"You are more precious than you know. I know this because in my twenty five years as a pediatrician, I have gotten a peak from behind your kids' eyes. I can see you as they see you. I have heard the excitement in their voices after you have praised them. I have seen your kids define you as their hero when you were in the other room. I have heard them cry over your hurt, laugh at your jokes, and pull their hair out because of your stubborness. I have literally read the value that you hold in your kids' lives, all over their faces and through their body language. When you walk in to a room, your son changes immediately. He relaxes because you are there and life feels safe again. If you recently scolded him, he scours your face to see if you're still mad, because he needs to know how you feel. You matter. Your mood changes his world a bit. If you're in a good mood, he can relax and play with his trucks. If you're upset with him, he wants to make up because you are the center of his small world. He needs you to like him again. You. No one else. Because once you are happy with him, he can go about his business and life will feel good again. He can focus at school, get his homework done, and pay attention during his basketball game. That is the power that you have and that power comes from the fact that in this one child's life - your child's life- who you are matters as much as life itself. You are loved."

Phew...pretty powerful food for thought. Here's another one:

"No mother can teach a child his or her own value if she doesn't first understand her own value as a mother. We are their teachers. We are the ones whom they admire and long to emulate. Our kids take the best of who we are (and unfortunately, sometimes the worst as well) and pull what they see inside of themselves. They take on our character qualities. They don't always take on the character qualities of teachers, coaches, nannies, or relatives, but they always take on ours. Therein lies just a part of our great value to them.

How can we assume that we little value when we give them life, shape their lives, and ultimately change their lives? We mothers are indispensable to our kids because no one can teach them how to love, empathize, nurture, or value others like we can. No one. And when it comes to teaching them how to love and value themselves, we are the ones with the greatest power to impart these profound and necessary truths to them."

So, in essence, after reading these two sections alone, along with more pages, I get the feeling that what the author is trying to convey is that being a mother is the most important job in the world. Part of being a happy mother is realizing your worth comes simply from being a mother. It sounds so simple, but it's hard to grasp at the same time. I think I'll just keep reading....

"The responsibilities of motherhood can seem overwhelming. It is important to remember that the Lord does not expect mothers to be perfect or to achieve an unrealistic ideal standard of homemaking. Yet He does expect them to recognize and honor their divine role and to humbly do their best."

Something to ponder....

Just a little quote to get your brain juices flowing....

“Watch your thoughts; they become words.Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”– Frank Outlaw

Spring is here!

Wow, I'm so happy to finally be able to say that I think the snow is gone, and the warmer weather is making it's appearance! Of course, you never can be too sure here in Michigan, but let's just hope for the best. Yesterday was my 26th birthday and it was the most beautiful day we've had yet in 2011. Caleb and I went for a walk and played outside. It's just so refreshing to get out of this house and enjoy some sunshine.

I had a great day yesterday. Jeff spoiled me again by bringing me flowers and cheesecake, a gift certificate for a massage, and some new books I've been wanting. We went out for dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, On The Border, and had a nice time. I'm just so blessed to live the life I do, and have such wonderful people in it. Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! I don't think 26 is too old yet, but the years are going faster and faster.

As spring approaches, I find myself looking for new and fun ways to get outside or change activities. In some ways, I feel like this change of seasons is a financially good thing. Why you ask? Well, for me, being cooped up and bored is never a good thing, and usually leads to shopping trips and other things that aren't really necessary. Hopefully just using an excuse to go outside and do something else will quiet down that need for awhile. Plus, I just feel like there is so much to look forward to this summer. Most of all, welcoming baby boy #2 to our family at the end of the summer!

Mostly, I just wrote this to spread a little spring cheer to you. Enjoy it!

"Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"

IT'S ANOTHER BOY!

Well, the title of this entry says it all! Caleb is going to be a big brother to a new little brother. This whole finding out deal came about a bit early, but we'll take it. I was having a concern with a bodily function going on, so an ultrasound was ordered to see if anything was wrong. After waiting what seemed an eternity (well, we did have to wait over an hour after our supposed 'appointment'!) we saw our little babe flipping around. The ultrasound tech wasn't supposed to look at anything besides the fluid surrounding the baby, but she gave us a good look at the arms, fingers, head, legs, heart, and brain. She told us she couldn't say 100% that it's a boy, but she was pretty sure. Well, I'm pretty sure too after looking at the pictures we got printed out. I'll admit, I was a bit disappointed it's not a girl, but I'm just happy for a healthy baby. It's so magical to get a glimpse inside my belly and see our new little one. He even waved at us!

Our happy news was saddened by a phone call we got tonight. Our good friends lost their baby today. She was only 2 weeks behind me as far as her due date. This really hit home for me, as we went in to the Dr. with our own concerns today, and came out with joyful news. I can only imagine the pain and sorrow they are experiencing right now. As I put Caleb to bed tonight, I held on a little tighter, and thanked the Lord above for blessing me with two healthy babies.

"Out of difficulties grow miracles."

Guardian Angel

Yesterday I walked out to the mailbox to pick up the mail, and found a card that I figured was for Jeff's birthday. To my surprise, it was from our 'guardian angel', and inside was a gift card for Meijer. We received one of these cards from Santa around Christmas time. The handwriting is not any I recognize, although I've been trying hard to figure it out. What a blessing and surprise it is to know that someone is thinking of us in that way. It really made me think how generous and kind others are. So whoever you are, and if you read this blog, thank you so much. No words can tell you how much we appreciate this kind thought! If we're ever in the position to be so generous one day, I hope to do the same and bring a joy to someone else's day.

On a different note, today is Jeff's 27th birthday. It's hard to believe that we've been together for almost 10 years, and that we have gone from teenagers dating, to a soon-to-be family of 4. I will say, he just keeps getting more and more handsome every year. Hard to believe, right?! Happy birthday to you, Jeff!

"Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can."

Gosh, I'm such a Mom

Is that a good thing? Or a bad thing? Sometimes I can't decide. My life as I knew it before babies is pretty much a thing of the past. I suppose that's just part of growing up and becoming an adult, but sometimes I can't believe how quickly I seem to have trasnformed from fun, energetic, care-free young adult, to a boring, worrying, crocheting Mom. Maybe I'll regain some of my wild spirit when I'm, ohhhh....say 50?

Here are 10 comparisons (although I can probably think of more, but don't want to bore you)of life before babies, and life now. This list will probably change when baby #2 comes too.

1. BEFORE: Life was about me. What I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, and how I would get what I want.
AFTER: Life isn't about me at all. It's all about what I can do for you.

2. BEFORE: A Thursday night was the beginning of the weekend. Thirsty Thursday anyone?
AFTER: A Thursday night is the same as a Monday night, or a Saturday night, or any night, for that matter.

3. BEFORE: I found crying babies and whining toddlers annoying. Can't the parents just make them be quiet?!
AFTER: I sympathize with the woman at the grocery store with a baby crying, and a toddler repeating a word five hundred times.

4. BEFORE: Bodily functions were disgusting. Keep them to yourself.
AFTER: Bodily functions are a part of life. Deal with it.

5. BEFORE: Sleep was over-rated.
AFTER: Sleep is the most wonderful time ever.

6. BEFORE: Shopping for clothes was fun. I had all the time in the world to try things on, look around, and figure out what would be cute for weekend activities.
AFTER: Shopping for clothes is not fun. There's no time to try things on when you child is whining. Plus, clothes just aren't as fun when you don't have the body of a young, fresh chick!

7. BEFORE: I could listen to whatever music I wanted, as loud as I wanted.
AFTER: I can only listen to country or something nice; volume turned down low. Unless, I get away by myself. Then I will jam out.

8. BEFORE: I didn't worry about much. I mean, what was there to worry about besides when I was going to ride my horse, or what I was doing on a Saturday night?
AFTER: I worry ALL the time. About everything. I also cry alot. (Thanks, Mom).

9. BEFORE: I always wondered what it would be like when I had my own family.
AFTER: Now I know. It's the most wonderful and most stressing time of your life.

10. BEFORE: My joy was found in what I loved and the plans I made for the future.
AFTER: My joy is found in a laughing little boy, a sweet goodnight kiss, and seeing the world through simple, innocent eyes.

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but not the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new."

Happy Valentine's Day

I have posted other copied entries from a daily email I receive called 'Hearts at Home'. Monday emails are always Marriage Mondays, and todays entry was of course about Valentine's Day. Isn't Valentine's day the day of true love? I thought this was a great email that I wanted to share. Love is so much more than flowers, chocolates, or a card one day a year.

What Real Romance Looks Like
By Jill Savage

I stood behind a man in the supermarket checkout lane who was set for romance. He was only purchasing two items: a dozen roses and a box of chocolates. I had to smile. Some lucky lady was going to be pleasantly surprised with his thoughtful gift.

However, flowers and candy only go so far in a relationship. This is because love that lasts a lifetime is not a feeling, but a choice. I wonder if that man in the checkout lane knows…

…that real romance is about learning to listen, even when you’re too tired to want to.

…that real romance requires us to occasionally love someone who is unlovable in the moment.

…that real romance has to be nurtured each and every day for it to last a lifetime.

…that real romance is not a 50-50 agreement…it’s giving 100% even when you don’t receive 100% sometimes.

…that real romance is appreciating the differences in the one you love rather than trying to change them.

…that real romance is about forgiving, sometimes dozens of times a day.


…that real romance is choosing to love even when you feel otherwise for whatever reason.

…that real romance is about praying, “God, change me,” instead of “God, change him or her.”

…that real romance is about being emotionally intimate before you’re ever physically intimate.

…that real romance requires thoughtfulness, kindness, and large doses of patience.

…that real romance is bathing the kids, helping with dishes, and running the vacuum.


…that real romance is giving a back rub when you’d rather receive one.

…that real romance is learning to communicate in better ways than you have in the past.

…that real romance is saving money out of each paycheck for you to do an overnight away once or twice a year.

…that real romance is learning to trust another person with your deepest fears and failures.

…that real romance is doing something with your loved one that they love, even if you don’t.

…that real romance is leaving the past behind and believing the hope of the future.

…that real romance puts a hedge of protection around your relationship, keeping temptation at bay with intentionality.

…that real romance looks nothing like the movies…it’s messy, it’s hard, and it’s it takes a lot of effort.

"Never take love for granted. Always keep the flame burning. Don't expect it to burn on its own, or you'll lose the most important person in your life."

Sighs of relief...

Today was my first appointment with my OB doctor to check everything out and see how baby #2 is doing. I was excited for this visit all morning. Ok, not the actual exam, but you know what I mean! Dr. Vandeburg was so excited to see us back, and she went over all the future appointments and the possible date for a scheduled c-section. (Which by the way, is August 29th!) Everything was going fine and normal until she put the doppler radar on my tummy to listen for the heartbeat, and couldn't find it. My tension and worry was growing each moment that we didn't hear it. I do remember that we didn't hear Caleb's heartbeat the first time either, but it's never easy to wait and see. The Dr. recommended we get an ultrasound. I'm not sure if she was worried, or if it was more for my piece of mind. Anyways, we waited about 20 mintues, which seemed like the longest 20 mintues of my life, then went in to the ultrasound room. Almost immediately, the ultrasound technician pinpointed the heart beat, and zoomed in so we could actually see the baby's heart beating. Wow, what a huge sigh of relief I breathed, and broke down in tears to see that little heart beating away, and that tiny little being jumping around inside of me. It was so amazing to see, and I knew that God was answering all those prayers I have been sending up. We got a few pictures to take home, and it seems so real now. Baby's head and body are formed and the heart was beating at 160 bpm. What a sweet joy for any mother to behold! I attached a picture :)

Today just made me realize how precious life is. It can be created and taken away in the blink of an eye.

"A mother's joy begins when new life is stirring inside....when a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time, and a playful kick reminds her she is never alone."

Blizzard!

"The Blizzard of 2011" arrived last night. All of the weather and news people say it's like the blizzard of 1978, but I wouldn't know about that. :) All I know is that we got a ton of snow! The snow is so deep that Remmy refuses to go outside, and my 4-wheel drive vehicle just barely makes it out of the garage. Normally, I might enjoy one of these kind of days, but to tell you the truth, I'm just plain sick of the snow. I know I wrote in a blog a while back that we Michiganders should be used to it, and I am, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. This winter, it seems snow equals days locked inside my little house, trying to entertain a toddler. It also means I never see my husband, as he's either plowing snow, or sleeping. Well, I guess it's not that different from summer...I never see him then either! I'm learning to be self-sufficient and figure out some 'homey' things to do. The problem with these "snow days" is that a girl can't get out and stretch her legs, let alone take a little time to herself. Alright....I'm done complaining. Wait, one more thing. It doesn't help that everyone on Jeff's side of the family is somewhere warm and tropical right now, and they like to rub that in by calling and saying, "It's 85 degrees right now down here." Jealous, yes. Sarcastic, yes.

Have a nice snow day! ;)

"To shorten winter, borrow some money due in the spring."

A miracle

I just wanted to share the video that I mentioned in my last posting. This was a video played in our church about the sanctity of life. It touched me deeply, since obviously, this miracle is taking place inside of me right now! Pregnancy truely is a miracle woven by God.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APkV40vUhWs

"A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years, and in your heart until the day you die."

Caleb is going to be a big brother!

Here is the blog you've been waiting for Mom! It's been awhile since I've written, but we needed a little time to break the news to our friends and family, and adjust ourselves. Jeff and I will be welcoming a new member to the family in early September. We are both excited, and a bit nervous. We learned that baby Miedema #2 would be joining our family a few days before Christmas. What a wonderful Christmas present we recieved! It was hard to keep it a secret for too long though. It's just the kind of news that I can't hold on to for longer than I must. The day I took the pregnancy test I went out and bought Caleb a 'Big Brother' shirt, and that's they way he told his daddy.

It still seems a little unreal. (Although it's getting more real with each bout of nausea and crying!) I am happy that we have this opportunity and feel blessed to bring another life in this world. At the same time, I feel a bit of sadness, mainly for the fact that Caleb will no longer be the center of our world. He'll have to share that limelight, and I'm sure it will be rough for him and myself for a little while.

This morning at church they played a video for choosing life. The video rang true to me because this very miracle is taking place inside of me right now. A baby's heart begins beating 22 days after conception. The moment conception takes place, DNA has formed that baby's hair and eye color, sex, and physical traits. How amazing is that? No one else will ever have the same genetic makeup that this baby has. He/she is already their own person. Wow. It's just too amazing for words.

Becoming a mother for the first time with Caleb was a life changing event. I have no reason to doubt this baby will change our lives as well. I'm looking forward to it, and appreciate your prayers and well wishes as this life continues to grow.

" Before you were concieved, I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were here an hour I would die for you. This is the miracle of a Mother's love."

Happy New Year!

Almost a full week of 2011 is through. Wow, time is flying! Jeff and I brought in the New Year with our friends Burke and Liz. We went out for dinner then they came back to our house and we played cards and watched the ball drop at midnight. It was low key, but fun.

Today Caleb was evaluated by a Speech Therapist. He passed all the tests, except for his speech adequacy. He is behind, and will be starting some home sessions in a few weeks. Like I said in an earlier blog, I just had a feeling about this. He understands so much, and is such a bright, happy little boy. I felt a little sad, as any mother probably would, that he needs some developmental help. But, this feeling quickly subsides when I see his smiling face, his eagerness to help with anything he can, and his radiant health. Granted, he has had some trouble with ear infections the past few months, and will be checked by an Ear, Nose, and Throat Dr. to see if he needs tubes. When I think about Caleb in speech therapy, it's just a small bump in the road. There are so many other things that are FAR worse. I think about children with terminal illnesses, born with Down Syndrome, or handicapped in some other way, and I realize this obstacle doesn't hold a candle to these.

My hopes for Caleb are simply to be happy, healthy, and loved. And I believe he will be, no matter what obstacles are put in his way.

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."